I'm not saying this is true for everyone. That caveat aside, I think there's a powerful reason people avoid or shun church. Even if they're "present," they're not connected in a meaningful sense. Ready for the reason?
The Idolatry of Hurt.
Hurt is real. Let me say that. Churches that hurt people are shameful representations of the true church, the Body of Christ, the family of God. It comes from every kind of place and relationship, with some of the wounds being faith-crippling.
But here's what's also real. Some of us fall in love with our hurt. We don't have an identity apart from the hurt. It becomes the idol of our heart. We don't know how to live without it. We feel angry when someone wants to take it away. Any of that ring a bell?
Idolatry of Hurt.
It keeps people from connecting in an environment that truly heals. Even though the environment may be imperfect, it can still be healing. No perfect church, but healing churches are real and more plentiful than people may think.
But that's just me thinking thoughts...