Dad Story, Part 4: It'll all be worth it in the end

Disclaimer:  I'm writing a tale of our journey to adopt our third daughter who is our fifth child.  Yes, we're crazy.  No, I haven't won the argument to get an Armored Personnel Carrier to carry all these people.  And yes, I'm writing it from a dad's perspective.  I hope it helps some dad out there who wonders what in the world God has put on his plate.

I like to walk and pray, especially in the early mornings.  Somewhere around 5am typically, I’m up and out the door with our slightly spastic dog to get some fresh air and exercise.  I’ve always struggled a bit to sit and pray.  But walking and praying is much easier – something about my body being engaged that helps my mind stay focused.

One of these mornings I was talking to Father about the question, “When will my heart turn?  Or will it?”  I knew we were being obedient.  But I also knew it was an obedience of determination, not of delight.  So as I walked and we conversed, there came a point where the Spirit said to me, “It’ll all be worth it in the end.”  I know His voice.  It rings with a kind of authority that I cannot generate and has a resonance that reaches farther down into me than my thoughts can take me on my own.  It was Him.  He was speaking.  And He made me a promise. 

One time when I was out walking in the fall of 2008, I heard the same voice say, “January.”  I went home and told the Queen that Father had spoken but that I had no idea what He meant by “January.”  When God speaks to me like this, I typically put it in a file that is labeled, “Stuff God has said that I don’t understand yet.”  I don’t try to overinterpret or take guesses.  With the instance in 2008, it turns out that we were matched with Peanut in January, 2009.  And, lo and behold, she was born in January, 2007.  

So into the file the saying went, with me believing that Jesus was serious when He said it’ll all be worth it in the end.  I write this in late February, 2020, some 4 months or so after God has spoken.  I still don’t know what it means but I’m holding on to the promise.